My approach to coaching draws from multiple modalities, which I use with fluidity and responsiveness to clients’ needs. First and foremost, I use a relational approach, which means that I value my relationship to each person as the key to inviting growth and change. My perspective as an anti-racist trans-affirming feminist cultivates understanding of individuals’ problems through a lens of social justice. I teach skills for dealing with difficult emotions and negative thoughts - but truth be told I believe these skills to be most effective when paired with deeper exploration of the meanings of these problems and to the messages embedded in feeling states. Many unhealthy patterns of relating to others and self are rooted in childhood experiences, family-of-origin issues, minority stress, and trauma. Therefore I call upon wisdom co-created during sessions to guide clients toward integrating insights at their own pace.
What I do in the coaching session:
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Listen carefully as people reveal layers of their truths, with special attention to intersections of people’s cultural identities
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Engage actively and authentically by asking clarifying questions, suggesting potential interpretations, and noticing connections or themes
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Help people explore what gender means to them and how to untangle toxic gender messages around them
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Guide people through logistical and emotional journeys of gender transition or other kinds of self-actualization
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Take time and space to celebrate moments of gender euphoria, milestones of healing, and experiences of joy!
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Talk comfortably about sexuality, including orientation, pleasure, consent, BDSM, kink, non-monogamy, body image, sexual health, and trauma
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Provide education and support to parents, partners, and other loved ones of queer and transgender people
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Teach strategies to get unstuck from negative thought patterns
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Offer tips and support around honest communication with others, especially around themes of coming out, self-advocacy, accountability, and inter-subjectivity (i.e. recognizing that each person has a valid and unique subjective experience)
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Provide a safe place for people to unpack feelings of shame, inviting people to recognize when things they are harboring were never their fault in the first place
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Hold patience and tenderness while people move through stages of grief (including anger) about the wounds of injustice, childhood pain, and/or traumatic experiences
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Care deeply about people’s emotional health and soul’s journey